Pokemon Sagas
by Tsukasa1891
Summary: Based on the adventures of May and Brendan as they travel the Hoen region. Only this time there not so nice anymore. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1 BAD DRIVERS SUCK

Disclaimer: I do not own pokemon.

After seeing some Pokemon fanfiction and web comic's based on RubySaphire, it inspired me to write this fanfic. This also happens to be my first fanfic.

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The story starts with May in the back of the truck, on her way to her new home in Hoen. (Very original, I know. But lets just get this going already)

May: OW... DAM IT MOM, YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIT EVERY SINGLE FUC...

Just then a box falls on May's head.

May: Dam that hurt. What did mom put in that box? It felt like someone shattered a cylinder block over my head.

Mom: What was that May?

May: I SAID, YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIT EVERY POT HOLE IN THE RODE.

May: That's it, this is the last time I sit in the back of a truck just so I can look at my collection of Kakashi hentai.

(Gets all starry eyed)

May: But he is so dreamy. "sigh" But it's still not worth going through all this crap. If only I could meet someone who looked like him...

Just then the truck comes to a screeching halt, sending May flying right it to the wall.

Mom: May, were here.

She then opens the back door to let May out. Only to find her laying on the floor with several box's on top of her.

Mom: Stop playing around, we have a lot of unpacking to do.

May: I hate you, mom.

Mom: What was that dear?

Now standing outside of the truck with her mom.

May: Where did you get you licence from? A Cracker Jack box?

Mom: Oh.. Your such a kidder. You really sound like your dad when you joke around like that.

She then walks into the house.

May: No wonder mom and dad never fight about anything, mom always thinks he is just joking around when ever he gets mad.

May: But I can't really complain, since dad is nice most of the time, and even though he is at work most of the time, there are others in this world who have it much worse then we do.

May: huh... Why am I just standing here rambling on? Might as well go inside and check out my new home.

Mom: See, May? Isn't it nice here? You even get your own room.

May: So I don't get to sleep on the table now? (rolls eyes)

Mom: WHAT? You used to sleep on the table? That's just disgusting. You were supposed to sleep out side in the dog house.

May: Like I'm really going to sleep out side when it's 20 below 0 out, when I don't even have a blanket.

Mom: Any way, The mover's Pokemon do all the work of moving us in and cleaning up after.

May: Yeah, cause we can't have you doing any heavy lifting. You might just loose a few of those pounds in your fat ass.

Mom: Hahaha... Honestly May, I just don't know where you get this stuff from.

Mom: Your room is upstairs. Why don't you go check it out?

May: Yeah, sure. Anything that will get me away from you, even if only for a moment.

Mom: What was that, dear? I was checking out the mussels on that Machoke.

May: Thats just sick, I'm out of here.

Mom: One last thing.

May: (roles eyes) What now?

Mom: Your father bought you a new clock to celebrate our moving here. Make sure you set it.

May: A clock, Just what I always wanted.

May: 5:00 AM, How is there still light outside?

Mom: How do you like your new room?

May: It's better then the dog house and the table.

Mom: Is everything put away neatly?

May: No mom, thats why it looks like I just had a keg party in here.

Mom: "sigh" Keg party's, that sure brings back some found memory's.

May: MOM, I don't need to hear what you used to do when you were younger.

Mom: What are you talking about? I meant the one I went to last week.

May: MOM.

Mom: What? Well I'm going down stairs now, make sure everything is were it is supposed to be.

Mom: May, come here quick. You dad is on TV.

May: So what, I've seen him on Tv a million times now.

Mom: Oh.. It's over, you missed it.

Mom: One of your dad's friends lives in town. What was his name again? Oh yeah, it's Professor Birch. He lives next door. Why don't you go introduce yourself?

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Will May make another smart ass response? Will there be romance between May and Brendan? Will Ash ever catch a Pokemon that is worth using? All this and more on the next exciting episode of DRAGON BALL Z. 


	2. Chapter 2 GUN CONTROL

Disclaimer: I do not own pokemon.

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Just as May is open the door to Brendan's house, A women appears in front of her and pulls out a shot gun and puts it right up in May's face.

Mrs.Birch: What the hell do you think your doing? You think you can just sneak in here and rob us?

May stumbled back at the sight of the gun and fell to the ground and began to cry.

May: Please don't kill me. I don't want to die, I just moved in next door and wanted to come over to meet you.

Mrs.Birch: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I'm so sorry. Why didn't you just tell me that in the first place?

May: Because you shoved a gun in my face. I was about to piss my pants.

Mrs.Birch: Well then maybe next time you will think twice about just walking into somebody's house.

May: I thought you would of recognized me since my dad has been friends with your husband for several years now.

Mrs.Birch: Anyway, we have a son about the same age as you. Why don't you go see him? He's up stairs.

May: Are you sure it's ok for me to just go up there?

Mrs.Birch: Yeah, just go ahead. What could a thirteen year old boy be doing, that could embarrass him so bad, that it would scar him for life?

May: Um... Ok... I'm going up now.

Mrs.Birch: And don't even think of trying to do anything inappropriate, I have hidden cameras in his room, so I can see every thing that goes on up there.

May: Hello, my name is May, I just moved in next door.

Brendan: ...

May walks over to Brendan.

May: Hey didn't you hear me?

She notices him looking at his computer screen, and looks to see he is watching some AMV's with headphones on. May gently taps him on the shoulder, Brendan looks up and glares at her with cold uncaring eyes.

Brendan: Who are you, and what do you want?

May: What's with the cold stair? Anyway, I'm May Birch, I just moved in next door.

Brendan: Hmmmmm... Yes, I recall my dad saying something about that.

Brendan: Your name sounds familiar. Now I remember, we used to live close to you a long time ago, right?

May: Yeah, but I don't really remember anything from back then?

Brendan: Doesn't really surprise me, since you were only a baby back then.

Brendan: I have to get going now. I promised my dad I would help him with his research today.

May: Wait a second.

Brendan: What? Do you need something?

May: I just wanted to ask you, if we could hang out latter, and if you could show me around town?

Brendan: That's not likely going to happen.

May: Why not? What, do you think your to good to hang out with me?

Brendan: No it's not that, By the time I get done with my research it will be getting late, and I want to get to bed early tonight. Because tomorrow I'm leaving town to become a Pokemon trainer.

May: I see, well good by then.

With that Brendan leaves without even saying goodbye.

Brendan: Mom I'm going to do that research dad asked me to do, I'll be back for supper, by.

Mrs.Birch: Ok see you later.

A few minutes later on rout 101

Brendan: Dam, May's ass looks good in those tight shorts.

Meanwhile

May: "sigh" Just as I meet a really hot guy, it turns out that he is leaving town, and wont be back for months or maybe even years.

May: By Mrs.Birch.

Mrs.Birch: By May, Oh and tell you mom I said hi for me.

: SOMEBODY HELP!

May: What's going on?

Kid: Can't you hear someone screaming over there.

May: Yes, it sounds like a little girl screaming. Hang on little girl I'm coming.

: Help me.

May: What the hell? He is the one screaming like that?

Prof.Birch: You over there, Please help.

May: Hmmmmm... No I think I would rather see you getting terrorized by a Poochyena.

Prof.Birch: Please, I'll pay you.

May: $$ Well if you insist.

Prof.Birch: Use one of the Pokemon in my bag.

May: Go, Mudkip. Use tackle!

Mudkip runs as fast as she could at Poochyena, Poochyena jumps to the side trying to avoid the attack but gets rammed hard in his back leg CRITICAL HIT. Poochyena charges in for a tackle of his own, but Mudkip easily avoids it because of Poochyena's injury. May: Now use Growl! Mudkip lets out a ferocious growl that causes Poochyena to run away.

Prof.Birch: Thank you. I was studying wild Pokemon when I was attacked.

Prof.Birch: Oh, you must be May.

May: Yeah, that's me. So when do I get my money?

Prof.Birch: Hahaha... Your just like your father, always joking around.

May: But I wa..

Prof.Birch: Anyway, this is not a good place to talk, so you should come to my lab, ok?

May: I BETTER GET PAID FOR THIS.

Prof.Birch: So, May. I've heard a lot about you from your father, and that you don't have your own Pokemon yet. As thanks for saving me, I would like you to keep that Pokemon.

May: It's better then nothing, I guess.

Prof.Birch: What was that?

May: Nothing.

Prof.Birch: My son Brendan is out on route 103, Why don't you go see him?

May: Hell yeah I'll go see him. Errrr... I mean, ok.

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Will May be able to confess her love for Brendan? Will Brendan feel the same about May? Will Goku ever stop being a glory hog? Or do I just like to hear my self talk? Find out next time on Yu-Gi-Oh. 


	3. Chapter 3 THE FATED BATTLE

Sorry for taking so long to update. I was hopping to get some reviews, so I would know if anyone liked it. Because there wouldn't be much point in continuing if nobody likes it.

To Black Murder Heavangelon, it's nice to know somebody likes this enough to ask for a update. There probably will be hoennshipping. But I'm not entirely sure what that means. I get the feeling that it has something to do with romance. I would appreciate it if someone could tell me exactly what it is, because I have not been here in a long time.

Disclaimer: I do not own pokemon.

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OLDALE TOWN "The origin of HOT SKITTY ON WAILORD ACTION"

May: Holy fecal matter Batman, It's SKITTY ON WAILORD ACTION. Did I really just say that?

May: How the hell can a Skitty do it with a Wailord? I just hope Wailord is not the male, that poor Skitty would be ripped in half.

May: Oh my fucking god.

May runs over to the guy looking at pokemon foot prints.

May: That is disgusting.

Guy: What? I was just looking at the foot prints of a rare pokemon.

May: No you weren't. You were picking your nose and eating it.

Guy: You saw that? Please, you can't tell anyone about this. I would be the laughing stock of the entire town.

May: Like hell I wont. HAY, EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST PICKED HIS NOSE AND ATE IT.

Everyone in town: Hahahahahahahahahahaha...

Guy: You're a sadistic little bitch.

May: And I'm dam proud of it to.

Guy: How could you do this to me?

May: How could I not do this to you? It's funny as hell.

Guy runs away crying like a baby.

May: Haha... I can't belive he cried. Anyway, lets mosey.

Cloud: Hay, that's my line.

May: What the? Cloud? I thought you were just a video game charter?

Cloud: Look who's talking, and I'm not just a video game charter, I also have my own movie.

May: But that still doesn't explain how you got here.

Cloud: Don't blame me, Tsukasa1891 is the one who decided to make this a Pokemon/Final Fantasy VII cross over.

May: Over my dead body.

May kicks Cloud in the nuts and breaks his neck.

Tsukasa1891: What the fuck? You just killed the greatest video game charter, ever.

May: Shut up you stupid FF fan boy.

Tsukasa1891: I am not a fan boy, and you can't talk to me that way.

May: Oh yeah, what are you going to do about it?

Makes Mays cloths disappear.

Tsukasa1891: I'll also tell everyone you slept with the guy who ate his own bogers.

May: Ok, I'm sorry. I'll never do it again.

Gives back cloths.

May: Hey, were are my panties?

Tsukasa1891: What? I wasn't sniffing them.

May: Right... Can I just have them back now?

Gives panties back.

10 minutes latter on route 103.

May: BRENDAN, stop jerking off in public, that's disgusting.

Brendan: (turns around) Do I look like I'm jerking off?

May: Well, sort of, that's what it looked like from behind.

Brendan: You have a sick, perverted mind.

May: Sorry. What were you doing?

Brendan: I was checking to see what pokemon live in around here.

Brendan: When did you get a pokemon?

May: Your dad gave it to me, for saving him from a Poochyena. Why would anyone be afraid of a Poochyena?

Brendan: Last time he was chased by one, it bit his left nut off.

May: Wow. Now I almost fell sorry for making fun of him for it.

Brendan: Since your here, why don't we have a battle?

May: All right, but why don't we make it interesting?

Brendan: What do you have in mind?

May: If I win, you have to take me with you on your pokemon journey.

Brendan: Fine, but if I win, you have to walk all the way home naked.

May: What? No way you can't make me do that.

Tsukasa1891: Maybe he can't, but I can.

May: Fine, I'll accept the battle.

Brendan: Who was that?

May: The author, and I suggest that you don't piss him off.

Brendan: What ever, lets just battle already.

Brendan: GO, Torchic.

May: Lets kick that birds ass, Mudkip.

Brendan: Torchic, use scratch.

Torchic runs up to Mudkip and scratches Mudkip as she try's to evade the attack, only to have it hit her in the back.

May: Mudkip, counter it with a mud slap.

Mudkip uses her tail to send mud flying into Torchics eyes.

May: Now use a tackle attack.

Mudkip runs as fast as she could at Torchic, only for Torchic to jump up at the last second.

Brendan: Torchic, finish it with another scratch.

As Torchic falls back to the ground he prepares to attack.

May: Mudkip, hurry and jump out of the way.

Just as Torchic was about to attack, Mudkip narrowly dodges the attack.

May: Now use watergun.

Just as Torchic is about to land, Mudkip takes in a huge breath, and fires her water gun right into Torchic, Torchic is then sent flying into a tree.

Brendan: Come on Torchic, I know you can win this fight.

Herein Brendans words of encouragement helped Torchic stand up.

Brendan: Now use a peck attack.

Just as Torchic starts to run towards Mudkip, he looses his balance and falls down hard.

Brendan: Torchic, are you all right?

Torchic: tor... chic...

Brendan: It's ok, you don't have to battle any more today.

Brendan: That was a good battle May, you deserve this win.

May: Oh hell yeah, we won Mudkip.

Brendan: You don't have to get all cocky about it. You only won because you have a type advantage.

May: Your just mad, because you lost.

Brendan: What ever, I'm going back to the lab, you should stop by.

May: Of course I will. You don't think I would just forget are agreement like that? Do you?

Brendan: Just hurry up and get there, it's getting late now.

May:Fwhahahaha... Now I will get to be all alone with Brendan, and do what ever I want with him.

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Just what does May want to do to Brendan? Will Brendan get corrupted by Mays perverted mind? Will Tifa cry over Clouds death? Will I ever shut the fuck up and end this chapter? Find out next time on The Teletubbies. 


	4. Chapter 4 BRENDAN SUCKS

Disclaimer: I do not own pokemon.

Anything in ( ) what they are thinking

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May: Finally, I'm back at the lab. It felt like it took forever to get back.

Brendan: We could have just jumped down the ledges on the way back.

May: Why didn't you tell me that before we took the long way?

Brendan: Because I saw a couple of Zigzagoons getting it on.

May: Why didn't you tell me? I would have liked to see it.

Brendan: Because you touch yourself at night.

May bitch slaps Brendan as hard as she can, leaving a red hand print in Brendans face.

(May: How did he know that?)

Brendan: Lets just go in the lab.

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Birch- It's about dam time you got back, I almost had to do some real work. Any way, I heard you totally humiliated Brendan in you first battle.

Brendan: She didn't beat me that bad, she just got lucky.

May: You're just mad that you lost.

Brendan: Yeah right, it was just one stupid battle.

Birch: Will you two shut the fuck up?

May/Brendan- Sorry.

Birch: May, I want you to have this, it's a pokedex.

May: What does it do?

Birch: It gives you useless information about pokemon, but you will have to track them down and catch them first.

May: What the hell is the point of having it then?

Birch: Because it was easier to give it to you, then to through it away, like I planed to.

Brendan: Here, you should take these too.

May: Let me guess, more useless crap.

Brendan: No, I was going to give you some masterballs, but since you have to be a bitch about it, you will only get regular pokeballs instead.

May: You pervert, I don't want your balls.

Brendan: I was talking about the kind you catch pokemon with, Do you even listen to the words that come out of my mouth? Or do you only here what you want to here?

May: I usually here about half of what you say.

Brendan: "sigh" This is going to be a long journey.

May: Well then, lets get going.

Brendan: Ok, but I have to stop at my house first.

May: All right, I have to go tell my mom I'm leaving anyway.

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Mom: May, did you meet Prof. Birch?

May: Yeah, I did. Did you know that his left nut was bit off by a Poochyena?

Mom: No, that must of hurt. Ewwwww, what is that ugly pokemon you have there?

May: It's a Mudkip, I got her from Prof. Birch, and she is not ugly.

Mom: So you have your own pokemon now. You really are your father's child.

May: Why do you keep saying it like that. It sounds like you are cheating on dad.

Mom: Well... Your dad is gone a lot.

May: MOM, how could you do that? Your married.

Mom: So what. It's not like he never cheats on me.

May: I am so out of here.

Mom: Wait, take this with you.

May: Thanks, by.

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Brendan: You ready to go now? What's that?

May: It's my new pokemon, Zubat.

Brendan: How did you get a Zubat? There isn't any Zubat's around for miles.

May: I got it from my mom. She used to be a trainer before I was born, but she never was any good at it, so she decided to give up and have a family.

Brendan: This sucks. I've been a trainer for months now, and I still only have a Torchic.

May: Wow, you really do suck.

Brendan: Shut up, May.

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Will May shut up, or will she keep rubbing it in that she has more pokemon? What exactly does Brendan suck? Will the Teen Titans show up in time to save the day? Find out next time on Pokemon Sagas.

Tsukasa1891: What? Am I supposed to come up with a different "next time on" in every chapter? 


	5. Chapter 5 MAYS FIRST KISS

Sorry for taking so long to update. (Again) But I got a bunch a of new games for Christmas, and was busy playing them. I'll try to get the next chapter up sooner.

Disclaimer: I do not own pokemon.

Anything in ( ) what they are thinking

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Guy: You.

May: Me?

Guy: I'm going to make you pay for what you did.

Brendan: What's he talking about? did you do something to piss him off?

May: Earlier today pick his nose and eat it, so I told everybody in town.

Brendan: Just turn around and run, run as fast as you can.

May: Why?

Brendan: Just do it now.

Guy starts picking his nose

May: Eww... He's doing it again.

Guy: Now I will make you eat it.

May: Gasp H-He's not serious, is he?

Brendan grabs mays arm and runs away

Brendan: Hell yes he's serious.

Wile running

Kid: If you are a trainer, then you have to battle...

Brendan: Get the hell out of are way now.

Kid: Hay, get back here.

Kid sees running towards him

Guy: EAT IT.

Kid: Oh shit, I'm not with th...

Guy shoves his finger in Kids mouth

Kid: That is so gross.

Kid throughs up

May: Eww... Did you just see what he did to that kid?

Brendan: I really don't fucking care right now May.

A few minuets latter

Brendan: Look it's the Gym, we can hide out in there for a wile.

May: How the hell can you think about making out, at a time like this?

Brendan: I said HIDE out, not make out.

May: Oh. (Dam it, he just had to get my hopes up)

In the Gym

May: Quick. Lock the door.

Brendan: Dam that was close.

Norman: May, what's going on?

May: Some guy was trying to make us eat his boogers.

Norman: WHAT?

: Help, let me in. Some one is trying to make me eat his boogers.

May: No way, were not going to fall for that trick.

Norman: Wait, I recognize that voice. Let him in.

: What is that guys problem?

Brendan: It's a long and disturbing story. Who are you anyway?

: I'm Wally. I came here to get my first pokemon, but then that guy started chasing me.

Wally drops to the floor gasping for air

May: What's wrong?

Wally: My inhaler.

May: Here, take it.

Wally: Thanks.

May: Are you ok?

Wally: (Dam, she has a nice rack) I'm not sure.

May: Were does it hurt?

Just as May gets closer, Wally leaps forward and kisses her

May: Oh my god. His breath taste like toe nails.

Wally: I knew I should have brushed my teeth after biting my toe nails off.

May: That is so sick.

Brendan: What the hell do you think you are doing?

Wally: Why? You jealous?

Brendan: Of you, in your dreams.

May: Dad, aren't you going to do something? Dad?

Every one sees Norman crying

Norman: sobbing Kids grow up so fast. You already have your first boyfriend.

May: HELL NO. HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND.

Norman: May, you shouldn't just go around kissing boys your not even going out with. You will get a bad reputation that way.

May: I didn't kiss him, he kissed me.

Norman: sigh Young love.

Brendan: I think I'm going to be sick.

Norman: If your going to be sick, then do it outside.

Brendan: Can you just give Wally his pokemon, so he can get out of here?

Norman: Sure, but you better wait a wile before you leave.

Two hours latter

Brendan: It should be safe to go out now.

May: Maybe, but I'm not going to check.

Brendan: No way in hell am I going out there first.

They both look at Wally

Wally: I don't think so. Nothing you say will get me to go out there first.

May: Well, you did kiss me with out my permission, it's the least you can do. Or would you like me to introduce your balls to my steal toe boots?

Wally: I'll go look.

May: I thought so.

Wally: Ok, it's safe to come out now.

Brendan: He's finally gone.

Norman: Here I'll let you borrow my pokemon. Take this pokeball too.

Wally: Thanks.

Norman: May, Brendan, could you go with him and help?

May: Why should we?

Norman: Because if you don't, I'll tell them how you wet the bed until you were ten.

May: Dam it. Come on were going.

Brendan: Why? I don't want to go with him.

May: I SAID WERE GOING, SO WERE FUCKING GOING.

Brendan: Fine, lets go.

Wally: I can't wait to catch my first pokemon.

Brendan: I bet he catches a stupid Magickarp.

Wild Mewtwo appeared

Brendan/May: Holy shit.

Wally: Go Zigzagoon.

Mewtwo used Psychic. Zigzagoon fainted. Mewtwo flips Wally off. Mewtwo fled

Wally: Dam it.

Brendan: Like you were going to catch a Mewtwo.

Twenty minuets latter

Wally: Now I'm ready to catch my first pokemon.

Wild Ralts appeared

May: Dam, he's lucky at finding rare pokemon.

Wild Ralts was caught

Wally: Yes, my first pokemon.

Wally does the robot

May: Ok... I'm going to go now.

Brendan: Wow. If he does that over catching his first pokemon, then I don't even want to know what he does the first time he gets laid.

May: Thanks a lot for the mental image.

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Will May get the image of Wally having sex out of her head? Will Wallys balls be introduced to Mays steal toe boots? Will people on Weal Of Fortune ever stop clapping every three seconds? Find out next time on Dragon Ball GT. Like any one watches that crap. 


	6. Chapter 6 WALLYS BITCH

Disclaimer: I do not own pokemon.

To YamiTenshi- You know someone who eats his own boogers. How old is this kid? someone should tell him he really needs to stop doing that. That must be so sick to see someone actually do that.

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Back at the Gym

Norman: So, did it work out?

Wally: Hell yeah it did. That Ralts didn't stand a chance.

Brendan: Oh yeah, Wallys such a great trainer, talk about a epic battle, being able to catch a pokemon that only knows how to growl is such an achievement, I bet you will be a pokemon master over night.

Wally: Shut the fuck up, before I make you my bitch.

Brendan: yeah right, like you could ever hurt me.

Wally: Want me to prove it? We can take it out side right now.

Brendan: Fine, and when I'm done, I'll whip my dick out and hit you so hard across the face with it, it will leave a mushroom stamp on your face.

May: That is so sick. I can't belive how big of a pervert you are. (That would be so hawt)

Wally: ...Ok. Any way, Here's your pokemon back.

Norman: What if I don't want it back?

Wally: Why wouldn't you want it back?

Norman: Ha... April fools. Of course I want it back.

Norman punches Wally in the gut and takes back the pokeball. Wally falls to the floor in pain

May: April fools was three days ago, and that was the lamest April fools joke I ever saw.

Brendan: Except for the part were you punched him.

Norman: Yeah, that was classic.

Wally: Dam that hurt you stupid ass whole.

Wally kicks Norman in the nuts and runs out of there

Norman: Dam that little bastard kicks hard.

Brendan: So... Are we going to have are Gym battle now? Or not?

May: BRENDAN! Can't you see my dad just got kicked in the nuts? Of course he can't battle us now.

Norman: Come back after you each win four badges. By then my nuts should fell better.

Brendan: If all you have is a lv7 Zigzagoon, then you might be some what of a challenge, but by the time we have four badges, we'll kick your ass so bad that Rodney King will feel bad for you.

Norman: Just get the hell out of my gym.

Brendan: What ever.

May: Good by dad.

Norman: Be for you go, I need to tell you some thing.

May: What is it?

Norman: I know there is a lot of pressure for kids to have sex these days. Though I prefer that you don't, but if you and Wally decide to have sex, make sure he use's a condom every time. I don't want to end up being a twenty-five year old grandfather.

May: I FUCKING TOLD YOU THAT WALLY IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND, AND I WOULDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM, EVEN IF HE WAS THE LAST GUY ON EARTH. I am so out of here.

Brendan: What was all that yelling about?

May: I don't want to talk about it. Lets just get to the next town as soon as possible.

Brendan: We shouldn't head for the next town just yet. It's getting late now, so we should spend the night at the pokemon center.

May: Fine lets go.

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Brendan: Nurse Joy can we get a room?

Nurse: Don't ever confuse me with that bitch Nurse Joy. My name is Nurse Wrath. And no, you can't have a room. This isn't some cheep hotel for kids to have sex at.

Brendan: Why does everybody think, that we think the world revolves around are genitals?

May: Were not here to sleep together. Were trainers, and we just want a room for the night. Is that to much to ask for?

Nurse Wrath: Sorry about that. There's one room left, but there is one other person in there already, so you will have to share a room.

May: I don't care, I just want to get to bed so this day can finally be over.

Nurse Wrath: Had a rough day?

Brendan: Yeah, First we got chased by that guy that picks his nose and eats it, then we had to put up with this really annoying kid all day.

------------------

As Brendan and May enter the room, they see Wally standing there warring pink pajamas with a picture of the Teletubbies on it.

May: OH MY GOD.

Brendan: I can't even begin to think of a insult good enough for this.

Wally: Shut up, my mom says it makes me look pretty.

Brendan/May: Hahahahahaha. 

Wally: Don't laugh at me like that, it hurts my feelings.

Brendan/May: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Wally: Screw you I'm going to bed.

Wally chugs down a glass of water

Brendan: You shouldn't drink so much water before bed, you might wet your self.

Wally: Shut up, I haven't done that since I was nine.

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Will Wally wet the bed? Will Brendan May and Wally have a three way? Will Yugi ever stop beating off to the Dark Magician Girl? Find out next time on Zatch Bell. 


	7. Chapter7 BRENDANS WET DREAM

Disclaimer: I do not own pokemon.

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May: What ever, I'm going to get changed, and neither of you better peek.

Brendan: Like you have anything worth looking at anyway.

May: sigh Just shut up. I can't deal with any more of your shit today.

Ten minuets latter

May: Brendan, wake up.

Brendan: Why are you sitting on my lap?

May: I thought you would like some 'over time'.

Brendan: Are you serious? What if Wally wakes up and sees us?

May: Don't worry about it. Lets just have some fun.

Brendan: Heh... I knew you were a bad girl.

Brendan starts kissing May, slowly making his way down between her legs. He than pulls down her panties, reviling Mays dick. Brendan just froze with a look of horror on his face.

May: Well aren't you going to suck it for me?

Just then Brendan awakens from his nightmare in a cold sweat.

Brendan: Dam, It was bigger than mine.

May: What was bigger then yours?

Brendan: AHH... Stay the hell away from me.

May: What did I do to you?

Brendan: Huh... Nothing, I just had one really messed up dream.

May: What happened? On second thought, I'd rather not know.

The next day

Officer Jenny: Wake up, It's time to go.

May/Brendan: Officer Jenny! We didn't do any thing.

Officer Jenny: I know that. I'm just here to wake you up.

May: Isn't that the nurses job?

Officer Jenny: Normally, yes but she was up all night at a keg party, and has a hang over. So she called in sick, and I'm just filling in for her today.

Brendan: How do you know she was at a keg party?

Officer Jenny: Duh... Because I was there with her.

May: Ok... We'll just be getting ready to leave now.

Officer Jenny: All right, see you latter.

May: Dam it, Wallys still sleeping. Screw this I'm going to wait outside.

Wally: May your so tight.

Brendan: Sick little pervert. This calls for a lesson.

Brendan notices that there is still some water in Wallys cup

Brendan: I always wondered if that would work.

Brendan gently places Wallys hand in the cup just enough for his fingers to soak in the water.

May: Did you get Wally to wake up?

Brendan: No, but I have a felling he will be up soon. Besides, it's not like we decided to travel with him.

May: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Then we should leave now so we don't have to deal with him any more. 

Wally: BRENDAN, YOU SON OF A BITCH. YOU MADE ME WET THE BED.

Brendan: And how did I do that?

Wally: You stuck my hand in water, and that makes people piss them self in there sleep.

Brendan: That's just a myth. It doesn't actually work, and I didn't put your hand in water.

Wally: I know you did it, so stop lying.

Brendan: Even if I did do it, you don't have any proof. Anyway, were leaving now, and you might want to get cleaned up and change your pants.

May: Don't bother following us, because we want to travel alone.

Wally: What? Why?

May: Because your annoying.

Wally starts crying and runs back to the pokemon center.

Brendan: What a loser.

May: Yeah, I know. Lets go.

Kid: Leaving footprints in the sand is so fun!

Brendan: That's not sand your walking in.

Kid: Than what is it?

May: Wailord shit.

Kid: Dam it, these were new shoes too.

May: Like we care. Lets go, this kid smells.

Brendan: Moron.

May: I'm going to catch some pokemon in the Petalburg forest.

Brendan: Good, I was planing on doing that my self.

May: Then lets meet up back here in half an hour.

Brendan: See you latter.

Devon worker: Not one to be found. Have you seen any Shroomish around here?

May: No I...

Team Aqua Grunt: I was going to break your legs on the way out, but you kept wasting time in this forest. So now I will kill you.

Devon worker: No, please you can't. Ill do anything you want me to do.

Team Aqua Grunt: It's to late for that, now you die.

Devon worker: Please, you got to help me. I don't want to die.

May: Fine, Ill take care of this.

Team Aqua Grunt: You are one pathetic little man, sending a weak little girl to fight for you. Lets go Poochyena.

May: Ill show you whose weak, go Mudkip.

Team Aqua Grunt: Poochyena tackle that piece of trash.

May: WHAT, Mudkip dodge and use mud slap.

Poochyena runs at full speed towards Mudkip, Mudkip tries to dodge but Poochyena manages to land a direct hit sending Mudkip into a tree. Mudkip shrugs off the hit and sends a pile of mud into Poochyenas eyes.

Team Aqua Grunt: Poochyena, finish it off with a bite attack.

May: Get ready to dodge it.

Poochyena lunges towards Mudkip, Mudkip easily evades the attack causing Poochyena to bite on to the tree.

May: Now use watergun.

Mudkip sends a powerful stream of water in to Poochyena sending him head first in to the tree, knocking him out.

Team Aqua Grunt: No way. That was just a fluke, don't think that you will get away with this.

May: I knew you were weak, so why don't you go run home and cry to mommy.

Team Aqua Grunt: Stupid bitch get out of my way.

The grunt runs towards May and shoves her to the ground and runs away.

Team Aqua Grunt: Serves you right.

Devon worker: Are you ok?

May: I think so, but my foot hurts.

Devon worker: Can you walk?

May: Ill try.

Brendan: What's going on here, I thought I herd something over here.

Devon worker: A Team Aqua Grunt attacked us, May defeated him but got hurt when he pushed her.

Brendan: Which way did he go?

May: It's to late, he's long gone now and I couldn't catch up to him with my foot the way it is now.

Brendan: Are you sure it's ok for you to walk now?

May: Ill be fine.

May tries to take a step but trips.

Brendan: You can't walk like this. Get on my back, Ill carry you to town.

May: But it's still a long way to go.

Brendan: Don't worry about it. I can handle it, and it's not that far.

May: Thanks.

Devon worker: Wait, before you go, let me give you this. It's a Great Ball. It's the least I can do for all your help.

May: Whatever, friggin coward, if it weren't for you I would have never gotten hurt in the first place. Lets get out of here.

Brendan: All right.

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Will Team Aqua Grunt remove the bug from his ass? Will Brendan suck Mays dick? Will we ever get to see what kind of power Pony gone has? Will there ever be a new Chrono game? Find out next time on Monday Night Raw. 


	8. Chapter 8 DOCTOR WHO?

Disclaimer: I do not own pokemon.

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20 minutes latter

Brendan: (uhh.. Dam she's getting heavy.) Are you any better now?

May: No, my foot really hurts bad. (Yeah right, I'm going to milk this for all it's worth.)

Brendan: (Sigh, why did I have to be a nice guy?) You should go see a doctor when we get to the next town.

May: I don't think it's that bad. All I need is some rest.

Brendan: I'm taking you any way. (I swear, she better not just be milking this for all it's worth, just so she doesn't have to walk)

At the doctors office

Doctor: Hello, I'm Doctor Salvador. So, what seems to be the problem?

May: I fell and twisted my ankle.

Brendan: Is she going to be ok?

Dr. Salvador: I'm afraid not. The damage is far worse then it looks.

May: How bad is it?

Dr. Salvador: Your foot has become infected and it's to late to operate. The only option left is to amputate your foot.

May: What? You can't cut my foot off. How will I walk?

Dr. Salvador: If I don't amputate it now, then your foot will rot, then the infection will spread to your leg then the rest of your body. In less then a year the infection will kill you.

May: This can't be happening.

Brendan: Are you sure this is the only way? There has to be something else you can do.

Dr. Salvador: I'm sorry, but there is nothing else. I'll start immediately.

May: Wait. Aren't you supposed to give me something to put me asleep so I don't feel anything?

Dr. Salvador: I'm sorry, but I'm all out. You'll have to stay concise.

?????: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?

Dr. Salvador: I'm going to amputate her foot.

?????: What? You can't do that. Get out of here now.

Dr. Salvador: But I want to amputate.

?????: I don't care, now leave.

Dr. Salvador runs away crying: Your so mean.

May: What the hell is going on?

?????: I'm really sorry about that. I'm the real Doctor here.

Brendan: Then who was that, and why did he try to amputate May's foot?

Doctor: That was my cousin. As you can tell, he's "special", and ever since he had a part in some video game, he's been obsessed with trying to cut peoples limbs off.

May: WHAT? He should be locked up in a prison for the criminally insane.

Doctor: That's what I tell his parents, but they wont listen.

Brendan: Will you just look at her foot already so we can get out of here?

Doctor: Your foot appears to be just fine. It doesn't even look like it was twisted that bad. How long ago did this happen?

May: About an hour ago, and it was more of a cramp then twisting it.

Brendan storms out of the room: That stupid bitch was just faking it the whole time.

Doctor: If your not really hurt or sick, then you shouldn't waste my time like this. There are other people who need my help.

May: (It's not like I wanted to come here anyway.)

Brendan: May, will you hurry the fuck up?

May: Why are you yelling at me? What crawled up you ass and died?

Brendan: You know why I'm mad.

May: Like guys never act like there hurt or sick more then they really are just to get sympathy.

Old lady: Dr. Salvador I need to renew my prescription for my arthritis medicine.

Dr. Salvador: Perhaps a more permanent solution to your arthritis problem would be better.

Old lady: Is there really a new treatment like that now?

Dr. Salvador: Yes there is. (Pulls out chainsaw) If I cut off your hands, you'll never have to worry about arthritis again.

Old lady faints.

Doctor: Dam it Salvador give me that chainsaw.

Dr. Salvador: No, I want to amputate her hands.

Doctor: That's it, I'm telling your mom and dad when they get here.

Dr. Salvador starts jumping up and down: No I don't want you to tell them.

Doctor: I told you no more temper tantrums, Now your going in the coroner for ten minuets.

Dr. Salvador: I don't want to.

Doctor: You want to make it twenty minuets and no juice box wit your lunch?

Salvador runs to the coroner: I hate you.

Doctor: I heard that.

May: Lets just get out of here, NOW.

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Will Dr. Salvador ever get to decapitate someone in real life? Will Brendan forgive May for making him carry her? Will Pikachu ever evolve? Find out next time on Dragon Quest IQVXMV...

Narrator: What the hell? Those aren't even real Roman Numerals. Who writes this crap?

Writer: Where are you going? And don't call my fanfic, crap.

Narrator: I quit.

Writer: You can't quit. You signed a contract that says you have to narrate until the last chapter.

Narrator: You can shove that contract were the sun don't shine.

Writer: All right.

Writer shoves the contract un the narrators ass.

Writer: No one quits on me and gets away with it. 


End file.
